a ceremony for our ovaries - All that's Jas

A Ceremony for our Ovaries

When my 31-yo daughter told me “Janet Jackson is pregnant and she is your age, can you imagine being pregnant again?” I said HELL NO! But…

First, I confirmed the HELL NO one more time, followed with a shudder just for good measure, and then I went on with my life without thinking about it again.

Until last night.

a ceremony for our ovaries - All that's Jas

A ceremony for our ovaries

It was after midnight and I couldn’t fall asleep, so I turned on TV. I decided to watch a recorded sitcom, The Middle. Have you seen that one? It’s noting glamorous but I like it for two reasons:

  1. The mom, Frankie Heck, is Debra (Patricia Heaton) from Everybody Loves Raymond, and who doesn’t love Raymond, right?
  2. It’s about a middle-age, middle-class, middle-America family living in Indiana (where I reside) facing the day-to-day struggles of home life, work, and raising children. Mom uses a sense of humor to try to steer her family through life’s ups and downs.

Why does this matter?

So last night Frankie becomes sad when her doctor informs her that her ovaries are shriveled up, which means her days of having kids are over.

“My ovaries are like raisins and not the cute, plump California ones that dance and wear gloves. They’re like the hard, shriveled, sad, deformed ones in Raisin Flakes we get from the Frugal Hoosier.” complained Frankie to her husband.

Can you relate?

I didn’t. Not until she said, pointing to her crotch area, “They don’t shut men’s factory down. I liked knowing it was still open and now it’s all red-tagged and padlocked with bulldozers in a parking lot. I wish I could still have a baby if I wanted to, but I don’t want to.”

Can you relate now?

I did. That’s exactly what I said when my doctor informed me of my raisin ovaries some 10 years ago. That’s right my friend, my factory has been padlocked for that long.  I took it hard, although it was short lived. I mean I didn’t want a baby at the ripe old age of 40, but I wanted it to be MY choice. Mother Nature was putting a big ugly label on me that read YOU’RE OFFICIALLY OLD and the only thing you can produce are raisins! I didn’t feel old even when I turned 50, by the way.

Getting old sucks. Should we have a #ceremony for our #ovaries? #menopause #gettingold… Click To Tweet

How did Frankie Heck handle it?

Not good. One night her and Mike, Mr. Heck, were babysitting a neighbor’s baby. They drove around the neighborhood to make her fall asleep and reminisced about times they did it with they own kids. At one moment they remembered a bump in the road ahead and braced themselves for a waking baby, but there was no bump. Frankie lost it: “THEY PAVED THE BUMP!”

I lost it with her and wept like a baby (I guess you had to be there).

I wanted, may NEEDED that bump to be there! “One moment you’re driving your baby around to fall asleep and the next your doctor tells you he can’t find your ovaries. That should be marked in some way. Everyone makes a big deal when you get married and have a baby, but no one is having a ceremony for your shriveled ovaries. They deserve more respect!”

“Like when a player retires and they hoist his jersey into the rafters.” Said Mike with guy’s perspective.

“Yes, they got the job done and deserve some sort of a send-off for their years of service. They deserve more of an ending, they deserve a goodbye.” SNIFF.

No, I don’t wish my hands constantly smelling like butt cream, but at least there were butts that needed me. Now I feel like no one gives a rat’s butt. OH MY WORD, I think I’m having an empty nest syndrome all over again. Or maybe I’m just sad my ovaries didn’t get a proper goodbye.

If you’d ask me now, after my night spent crying over my raisins if I could imagine being pregnant again I would still say HELL TO THE NO!

Do we need a ceremony for our ovaries?

I’d like to know how you cope with getting old. Even if you’re still young but have kid(s), you certainly think of a day when they’re grown, out of the house, and you only have raisins left. What kinds of emotions stir up your night?

 

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Jas

publisher and creative director at All that's Jas
Jas is a cheesecake addict and the author of the Balkan Comfort Food cookbook available on Amazon. You can download a free excerpt of the book when you subscribe to All that's Jas newsletter updates. To learn more about Jas visit her About page.
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16 Comment

  1. Reply
    Angie ~ ambient wares
    February 22, 2017 at 10:18 am

    Definitely an interesting read and I’ve seen that one! Love Patricia Heaton πŸ˜€ Thank you for sharing this with us at Funtastic Friday!
    Angie ~ ambient wares recently posted…Chair Makeover with added storage compartment under the seatMy Profile

    1. Reply
      Jas
      February 22, 2017 at 9:40 pm

      So glad you watched it too! The show is sometimes silly, but they always have a good message at the end πŸ™‚

  2. Reply
    Alicia Owen
    February 16, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    I definitely read this post at the worst possible time. I’m in the throes of a terrible “lady cycle”, so am currently looking at the future when I don’t have to worry about this crap wistfully. ha ha However, I’m only 30 so I would be very said if I had shriveled up raisins as I DON’T think I’m quite done with them yet. πŸ˜‰ Stopping by from the This is How We Roll hop.
    P.s. I live in Indiana too! We’re near Bloomington. πŸ™‚
    Alicia Owen recently posted…Our Week of Fun In PicturesMy Profile

    1. Reply
      Jas
      February 16, 2017 at 10:23 pm

      Hi, Alicia! You’re still too young and not even close to have raisins, lol. Nice to meet a neighbor – sometimes I think Indiana is out of everyone’s radar, ha! Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

      1. Reply
        Alicia Owen
        April 10, 2017 at 12:44 am

        I feel that way about Indiana too…But it’s not as bad as when we lived in Arkansas for a few years. My husband and I had a running joke that news and weather forecasters weren’t allowed to say β€œArkansas” or acknowledge it in any way. lol

        1. Reply
          Jas
          April 10, 2017 at 12:14 pm

          Lol, really? That bad? πŸ˜€

  3. Reply
    Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
    February 13, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    I must admit I felt a little wistful when my daughter was pregnant as I knew my days of pregnancy had passed. I can though enjoy my darling grandson so that is a plus. Thanks for sharing with us at #OvertheMoon link party.

    1. Reply
      Jas
      February 13, 2017 at 9:37 pm

      I didn’t have an easy pregnancy or a birth, so I didn’t miss that part at all, lol. I’m blessed that my daughter lives near by and I can enjoy my granddaughters as often as I want. Happy Valentine’s Day, Sue!

  4. Reply
    Mrs Shoes
    February 13, 2017 at 10:30 am

    I watched that show too! And I felt that way too! Funny!
    Isn’t it odd how, just when you can’t anymore, God gives us this deep desire for another child? I think maybe it’s His way of ensuring we will love & care deeply for our grandchildren. Or, in my case, my pretend grandchild; blood grands may be years away (or so my children tell me, despite being 27 & 24) but my deep need is mostly satisfied for now by looking after Mamy two days a week.

    1. Reply
      Jas
      February 13, 2017 at 2:55 pm

      I’m so excited you watch that show too! πŸ˜€ Grandchildren are Mother Nature’s way of making it up to us for getting old. It’s like a do-over but without the stress and responsibilities, ha! I can’t even begin to explain the love you feel for your grands. You’ll see! Thanks for visiting and happy Valentine’s!

  5. Reply
    shelley
    February 12, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    I had the opposite reaction. I was thrilled not to have to worry about pregnancy any more! It was the most freeing, liberating thing in the world and I was ready to leave the worry, inconvenience, and mess behind. I’m sorry you didn’t feel the same but it interesting how everyone reacts differently.

    1. Reply
      Jas
      February 12, 2017 at 6:23 pm

      Hi, Shelley! I was only 40 and it came so abruptly, without a warning, so I guess I was shocked. Like mentioned, it was shortly lived and I didn’t want any more kids for sure. My daughter was almost 20 at that time. I was lucky to had an easy finale, lol. Done and done (aside for a couple of hot flashes). You’re right! It is interesting to see how different we are. Can you imagine we all experience things the same way? The world would be so boring πŸ˜€ Happy Valentine’s Day and thanks for stopping in!

  6. Reply
    Ann
    February 10, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    Where to begin!!! Although I never thought of having ceremonies and saying goodbye for ovaries!

    Hmmm…I do think what it would be like to not hv any kids living at home…l miss them already! No more baby cuddles…:( Every once in a while, I thought I wouldn’t mind having another one. But reality hits and then I’m ok with having 2!

    So sorry you cried…sending you lots of hugs. Xxx.

    1. Reply
      Jas
      February 10, 2017 at 7:03 pm

      Thank you, sweetie! A pity party once in a while does the soul good, lol. I’m “ovar” it, πŸ˜›

      1. Reply
        Ann
        February 17, 2017 at 4:01 pm

        Corny…. :p

        1. Reply
          Jas
          February 17, 2017 at 9:26 pm

          I’ll ask you in a decade or two, lol. πŸ˜›

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