Mid sentence, and in all probability without an excuse, I leave the conversation and gleefully enter the tiny dance floor. The floor is wet and slick but I’m jumping up and down all the same.
As I’m singing along ABBA’s song Super Trouper lights are gonna find me shining like the sun; smiling, having fun; feeling like a number one…, I manage to make eye contact with Rob, my husband of a mere three hours, who is busy greeting the wedding guests, and I continue to sing (more like shout) and jump …Tonight the Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me, but I won’t feel blue; like I always do; ‘cause somewhere in the crowd there’s you.
This time I’ll make it right. I had my share of bad choices owing to immaturity, naivety if you will, stubbornness and rebellion. Whatever the reason, I can’t redo them. And perhaps I wouldn’t want to. It’s a cliché, but they made me who I am today. They made me like chocolate, just a little bitter, but mostly sweet. Ask anyone who knows me.
Ten minutes left before I walk down the Green to the Dovecote at the Cottage Garden. The May sky has changed its colors many times already like it couldn’t decide whether to be happy or sad. I’m not nervous.
Andrea and Jessie, my daughter and stepdaughter to be, both whom I have to thank for this day, came to the backroom where I was waiting my turn. Per my request someone brought me a bottle of liquor. I’m not nervous.
The girls each hand me an incredible gift and I’m feeling so overwhelmed tears started misting my eyes. I’m distracting myself with the view of guests arriving to the gorgeous outside setting. Spring flowers bowed their heads over the sidewalk leading to the Dovecote – my road to happiness. Chairs bejeweled with programs I had spent hours to make and flower arrangements positioned on either side of the stone formation. Lilly, my maid of honor, is peeking into the backroom checking up on me. I feel hypnotized. The room is getting dark. Glancing through the window I see a black umbrella open up, then a blue one and then two more black ones. The sky decided to be sad. Quickly, guests are removing programs from the now wet chairs, picking up small tables, flower arrangements – everyone has something in hand. Hurried by a steady stream of rain they are now running to the Summer House reception venue. I’m still not nervous.
For months, Andrea tried to talk me into meeting Rob, Jessie’s dad. She would fill my ears with how handsome he is and funny and hey, he could fix things around the house! What more could a woman want, right? Nothing I guess, just open your arms and embrace. But I wasn’t ready to make another mistake. What if it doesn’t have a happy ending? That sure would damage the girls’ friendship. What if…? They claimed their friendship was solid enough to withstand anything and besides, they said, we would be perfect for each other. We gave in.
A kiss on a cheek from Ryan, Rob’s son, and a tender hug once we reached the end of the isle brought me back to reality. I look into Rob’s eyes. I’m nervous. I want to make it right this time. Feeling the crowd’s stare burning the back of my head I concentrate on our vows. I trust this man with my whole heart. He makes me smile and for the first time I feel I’m someone’s number one. I do. Till death do us part.